And now a word from Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell:

How's this sound?

Whereas, since the Confederate States of America was defeated in a little Argument we had with Northern Aggressors over a century ago when they invaded our lands while we sat peacefully on our back porches sipping mint juleps, and in that Discussion with those Aggressors we agreed to give up our individual rights in an experiment to see if the Yankees had enough Christian blood in them to treat us like human beings rather than cogs in their wheel of economic domination, and Whereas in that debate we agreed to let our cheerful, friendly, little black helpers go north in an effort to Christianize our brethren, and as a result of that we saw them enslaved in the Northern Aggressors' War Against Cotton, and Whereas we Southern Plantation Owners have willingly carried the Cross of True Americanism while the Aggressors have shoved their Communist Terrorist Muslim-Islamist Socialist agenda down our innocent throats ever since, Therefore let it be Decreed: The month of April is hereby dedicated to the downtrodden, misunderstood, victimized, sweet-faced, pure white as the driven snow, Confederate States of America and all the hardships its sheep have endured.

Good for starters? ...I'd say it's already enough of a revision!


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